A Dispatch from Cloud City – State of the Union 2016

With a venerable tradition dating back over a year, the annual Platformonomics state of the cloud union strives to combine the exhilaration of the running of the bulls at Pamplona with the hyperbole of Oracle’s annual proclamation that this year they really are serious about cloud. Or at least to land a few jokes along the way.

In summary, we’ve reached the end of the beginning for cloud computing.

There is no longer much question whether public cloud will be the foundation for IT going forward; instead we quibble about timing and implementation details. The largest enterprises as well as the most sophisticated workloads are wafting up into the cloud. The leaders are distancing themselves from the pack while the dreams of cloud wannabes are deflating like footballs around Tom Brady. Legacy vendors’ worlds are imploding. Private cloud proponents are harder and harder to find: except for those few diehards hunkered down in their closet-sized data centers with several years supply of canned goods and tape backup cartridges, previous private cloud proselytizers now talk earnestly about hybrid clouds in hopes of retaining a few on-premises crumbs in the process. And even the very largest corporations are realizing they can’t keep up with the hyperscale public clouds.

I contend there were two critical inflection points for cloud this past year:

Customers tipped, specifically the enterprises who spend vast sums on IT. Most CIOs have shifted from resistance or tire kicking to active embrace, and are doing so increasingly for business reasons as opposed to technical. Sticking your head in the sand is no longer a viable option. The objections have been knocked down one after another. Security turned out to be powerful a reason to go to the cloud, not shun it. The enterprise tipping point is critical because it dramatically expands the size of the cloud opportunity. We can now realistically talk about a trillion dollars of existing IT spend in play, aka the “cloud jackpot”.

Amazon’s transparency, both financial and cultural. The breaking out of AWS financials in April forever banished the platitudes “your margin is my opportunity” and “the race to the bottom”. AWS proved to be a very large, very profitable and very rapidly growing business. Even bulls were surprised to learn not only that the business is profitable, but much more profitable than anyone imagined. The initial operating margins for AWS were almost identical to those of financial engineering savant IBM. Amazon also had some unsolicited transparency inflicted upon it by the New York Times, who took a deep look at the company’s culture.


My thesis for the last two years has materialized: it is a two horse race located here in Cloud City (Seattle) with AWS in the lead and Microsoft the only other vendor who can still see them. Besides being extremely convenient for me, this means your cloud landlord is probably in Seattle. Please don’t be late with the rent check. The geographic version of Gartner’s Infrastructure-as-a-Service Magic Quadrant (™ ® © All rights reserved. p = 0.796513. Trough of disillusionment. Etc.) underscores that the cloud world is not flat.

It is so obvious that even the denizens of Wall Street have noticed, with one brokerage firm hyping it as a ‘206 area code street battle for the cloud’. (Never mind that Microsoft is in a different area code. I’m sure they’re using an area code map from The New Yorker where everything west of the Hudson blurs together, just as all those buy and sell recommendations from east of the Hudson blur together).

Where is Google in this race? In some ways they have the fastest horse and are certainly the third hyperscale player in terms of their global infrastructure footprint. But Google’s horse is sitting some other pasture, contemplating space elevators, indifferent to the idea they need to actually show up for the race to win it.

I have a fundamental question for each of the hyperscale players pertaining to whether and how market shares will shift as this market continues to grow, plus some thoughts on the rest of the rapidly diminishing field.


Amazon remains the cloud trailblazer, maintaining their frenetic pace of innovation while also making necessary investments to become a mainstream enterprise provider. The question for AWS is can they adapt and evolve their culture in order to extend their current leadership into dominant share of that trillion dollar cloud jackpot? (Note that cloud will also bring significant revenue compression, aka customer savings.) This is very much an issue of “what got you here won’t get you to the next level.”

Beyond all the substantive if boring investments required to sell to and support enterprise customers, there are a bunch of cultural issues AWS must navigate. Some stem from their position inside Amazon and some are unique to AWS. The broader Amazon culture issues that the New York Times highlighted also impact AWS’s ability to realize its potential, not least their ability to hire and retain talent. AWS is a very different business from the rest of Amazon and one sitting on the pole position of a trillion dollar opportunity. It requires a different culture than the core Amazon MVP trial balloon autocannon and one that doesn’t resort to zero sum political hackery to assuage its ego.

Public cloud providers are among the most important dependencies any company will take. Successful vendors in this position understand the nature of this relationship with their customers and actively work to build customer trust and mutual co-dependence. Not surprisingly, enterprise vendors are very transparent with their customers. Yet this is at odds with the secretive Amazon culture that seems incapable of putting numbers on the y-axis of charts.

Even more, successful enterprise vendors mitigate customer fears of lock-in. AWS has not figured this out and is struggling with lock-in fears, as evidenced by what can only be seen as disappointing adoption of higher level services like the EC2 Container Service and Lambda, despite their technical appeal. Business as usual will not overcome these fears, and not addressing them means a future where customers only feel comfortable consuming base compute and storage. Being cognizant about your own power is challenging, as big technology companies’ internal mindset invariably lags their growth. They go on thinking they’re the plucky little startup long after they’ve become Godzilla.

I used to think Amazon should spin off AWS so it could maniacally focus on retaining or expanding their current share of the cloud jackpot, and build the distinct culture necessary to fully realize that opportunity (and avoid the distractions from the rest of Amazon). After seeing the financials, I believe AWS should spin the rest of the Amazon e-commerce business.


Microsoft has executed extremely well to emerge as the only credible challenger to AWS, leveraging both their platform heritage plus the fortune of a massive and overly-optimistic infrastructure build-out for search. Further, they’re the only vendor from a previous generation to make the leap to hyperscale. Unlike many of their peers, Microsoft’s survival in the cloud era is not in doubt.

But as the enterprise market for cloud really begins to open, the question for Microsoft is whether they can bring their enterprise capabilities to bear in a way that both reels in AWS and allows them to materially expand their share of the cloud jackpot. It is not clear Microsoft fully appreciates those enterprise capabilities, in relative or absolute terms. It is a long road to become a credible enterprise vendor, and having lived through that process when I was at Microsoft, it brings great cognitive dissonance to realize they are by far the best of the hyperscale bunch (and it is even weirder to see the company getting good marks for “Playing well with others” these days). Microsoft also has an advantage as a full spectrum provider across IaaS, PaaS and SaaS, to which AWS is just starting to react. But more of the same is not going to materially increase Microsoft’s market share position. Further success starts with a strong dose of self-awareness.


The big question for Google is when will they realize cloud is more than just an engineering problem? If they want to build a real business where customers take a enormous dependency on them, they are going to have to do some critically important but mundane things that don’t involve algorithms. Worse, it is likely to involve fickle humans. They must overcome their deep antipathy to both customer-facing operations and enterprises as customers.

Post Alphabet, where any previous inhibitions about pursuing new hobbies have evaporated, it is even harder to imagine the “capital allocators” choosing to invest in thousands of enterprise sales and support people given alternatives involving life extension and/or space elevators. After all, won’t the robotics division eventually solve any problem that today requires humans?


Last year we catalogued the delusions afflicting a long list of public cloud wannabes. This year we simply observe the epidemic of sobriety sweeping the vendor landscape (and the morning-after wreckage). HP managed to exit the public cloud business not just once but twice this year. Helion is Heli-off. Rackspace, still recovering from its OpenStack misadventure, is shifting its center of gravity from the data center to the call center. Both vCloud Air and Virtustream have disappeared into a miasma of highly leveraged financial engineering emanating from Austin. AT&T, CenturyLink and Verizon are all hoping no one remembers they once claimed to be public cloud providers (and probably will get away with it). Cisco, presumably, has filed a missing persons report for their InterCloud.


While the number of hallucinating vendors has plummeted, devotees of delusion should not despair. Despite all the departures, aggregate levels of industry delusion may be hitting new highs between the efforts of IBM and Oracle. These delusional dinosaurs are locked in a battle every bit as fierce as one between the hyperscale competitors, except they are vying for the World Championship of Cloudwashing™. Given cloud poses an existential threat to both companies, it is not surprising they are talking cloud. But their delusion manifests itself in the colossal gap between their rhetoric and their actual capabilities.

I have been arguing for almost three years that IBM is likely to be the cloud’s biggest scalp. Their best outcome is they’re just a much smaller company in the cloud era, not that they’re executing on that path. The stock is down a third since I started beating this drum and is currently exploring new five-year lows. They continue to confuse boutique hosting with hyperscale cloud, and have been reduced to asserting Watson will somehow be their cloud Hail Mary (at what point is it reasonable to expect Watson to progress beyond an endless PR campaign, never mind drive revenue material enough to bolster the ever-shrinking IBM topline?).

A year ago IBM had the cloudwashing title wrapped up but Larry “Lazarus” Ellison is not one to back away from a challenge. Hypercompetitive: yes. Hyperscale: not even remotely. The question for Oracle is do they really believe it when they assert they are the leaders in cloud (or even have a cloud as opposed to some SaaS apps?) or they believe that empty rhetoric is a legitimate substitute for millions of lines of code and billions of dollars of capex? It is embarrassing when your employees feel compelled to point out the discrepancy between announcements and action, and in particular recurring confusion around tenses (also a lesson here for press who happily write the “this time we’re serious AND we are already the clear leader” Oracle cloud story every year without reflecting upon their credibility or past proclamation performance).

But this speaks volumes about Oracle’s cloud:

For instance, when the team was struggling with Oracle’s central IT to get the server resources they needed, the team requisitioned a bunch of desktop computers from Oracle’s Seattle office and turned them into an OpenStack-powered private-cloud-development environment so they could continue their work in peace, right in the middle of the office floor.

IT involved? Check. Private cloud? Check. OpenStack? Inauspicious. Desktop computers under the desk? Are you f*%king kidding me?

To paraphrase William Goldman: “Follow the capex” with IBM and Oracle. We’ll see if they’re still pretending next year.


Dell/EMC/VMware/WTF: the metal-bending M&A muttonheads have likely inflicted irreparable damage to VMware, the best asset in the so-called “federation”. Pivotal also risks being caught up in financial shenanigans perpetrated by those who neither understand nor appreciate software.

DevOps: if you’re buying DevOps tools, you’re doing it wrong.

Digital Ocean: needs to make its play as the dark horse window is closing.

Docker: despite all the political hijinks as competitors tried to box Docker in, Docker has become boring. That is good; the container infrastructure continues to mature. More exciting perhaps are new developer models emerging that are “native” to containers.

GitHub: the Craigslist of cloud?

HubSpot: this is not cloudy, but given the infrequency of my blogging, I will predict their CEO steps down in 2016 with p = .7. The board may follow. The level of transparency has not yet become “uncomfortable”. But it will.

Industry Foundations: after an ugly outbreak of industry foundations last year, we can only hope to be certified Foundation-free in 2016. As we have seen, this affliction is highly contagious. As with cockroaches, when you see one foundation, you will likely see more. So it is important to prevent potential foundation epidemics; the best protection is not letting companies that can’t write code get involved.

PaaS: still a zero billion dollar market though the data is suggesting I might finally have to stop using that line next year. Perhaps more importantly, containers have reinvigorated the endless ontological debate about what exactly constitutes a PaaS. Cloud Foundry is having some success selling to very large enterprises, but they seem to be selling hope more than product. The Fortune 500 is packed with companies grasping for anything that lets them believe they can become software companies.

OpenStack: like a poorly performing European football team, OpenStack has been relegated to a lower division. It is now a solution for telcos. As the saying goes, if at first you don’t succeed, you can still sell it to telcos. OpenStack is a great fit with the NFV misdirection, which gives telcos the infrastructure toys everyone else had a decade ago while leaving the networking crown jewels firmly in vendor hands.

(Free) Stock Tips: if wave one of the cloud disruption hit enterprise hardware, wave two is hitting enterprise software. VMware preemptively tubed its stock by letting itself be the funny business in the Dell-EMC deal, so it not clear how much more downside there is in VMW. Oracle’s stock has already started to roll over. But there is still time to short Red Hat who, despite being irrelevant to cloud, sports a multiple of over 75 yet will see a much smaller fraction of every dollar that shifts to the cloud. If you have a cloud infrastructure software company to sell, Red Hat is your first call.

A Dispatch from Cloud City – 2014 Retrospective


In an effort to make this an annual event, here is a plumbing-palooza stream of cloud consciousness. Last year’s broad themes remain intact though my Rackspace call didn’t pan out.

Cloud Infrastructure

  • Public cloud has won. Thanks Target. Thanks Sony. Thanks Kim Jung Un. If your public cloud gets hacked, you get to blame someone else and will have company in your misery. Public cloud will absorb vast quantities of enterprise on-premises IT spending and thus be an enormous pot of gold.
  • Docker – everyone likes Docker. Even people who don’t.
  • There are two and a half big league public cloud providers vying in what John Connors has dubbed the (WTO-free) “Battle in Seattle” (Google does a lot of cloud work in Seattle too):

Amazon remains the leader with incredible execution and is relentlessly pushing up the stack. They are on the same “enterprise journey” that Microsoft went through beginning in the late ‘90s (with some of the same people in fact), in an effort to get IT comfortable paying them vast sums of money. Amazon seems to have abandoned price leadership as they find themselves in a price war against competitors who have vastly more money than they do. Frittering away valuable cash on hardware misfires and TV shows is a growing opportunity cost. If Amazon’s stock price doesn’t recover, expect their employee retention problems to grow and discussions of spinning out AWS to get more serious. But they’re not going to yield their leadership in 2015.

What I said last year about Microsoft still works:

“Azure has become the clear challenger to AWS. The much maligned Mr. Ballmer is not getting credit for Microsoft’s embrace and execution on cloud. Unlike most of its cohorts rooted (mired?) in previous generations of technology, Microsoft is well on its way to making the cloud transition.”

Microsoft is executing like old school, taillight-chasing Microsoft with the added advantage of glass-half-full perceptions about the company for the first time in nearly two decades under the regime. The open source embrace (sans extend) is real after enactment of the strategy tax cut. If you’re still having cognitive trouble with this, the best analogy I can offer is Microsoft has become Intel and just wants to soak up all those datacenter compute cycles (a pithy analogy for what Intel has become eludes me, but it could be a fun exercise).

Google I don’t give a full big league integer to because cloud is still basically a hobby for them. In technology terms, they are in many respects the leader, but they’re just not serious about the non-technology investments they need to make to really compete for that broad enterprise transition to the cloud (they too need to embark on an “enterprise journey” as opposed to hoping those enterprises beat a path to their door). The company seems more interested in n+2 or n+3 opportunities (self-driving cars! life extension! an air force!) than mundane n+1 opportunities like cloud (which gets interesting if you believe we’re seeing weakness in Google’s search cash geyser for first time – will the further out new businesses spin up soon enough to offset slowing and/or deteriorating desktop advertising?). Presumably all those robotics investments are so they won’t have to hire humans to do enterprise sales and support. Google is the Crazy Eddie of cloud (note Eddie didn’t have much of an enterprise business and but did have a fraud problem. But far be it for me to suggest that the ad business is anything but squeaky clean). They will continue to push prices down which is a great way to push Amazon to the wall. But Google needs more than just technology and lowest price to really compete for the enterprise cloud jackpot.

  • Docker – did I mention Docker?
  • Below the big boys we have a bevy of wanna-bes, characterized by varying levels of self-delusion about their ability to really play this game. The old school announcements of “one billion dollar” multi-year investments aren’t even table stakes – Google spends that on capex in a couple weeks. IDC slyly and without elaboration predicts “75% of IaaS provider offerings will be redesigned, rebranded, or phased out in the next 12-24 months”, which brings us to this group:

IBM has been my poster child for the existential threat cloud poses to old school IT vendors. I’ve been pontificating about the peril they face and their clueless response for quite a while (here, here, here, here, here and here as a start). I took a lot of grief about this view when I first wrote about it but now their plight is widely understood and even conventional wisdom:

Bloomberg Businessweek (US)

My inner contrarian even wants to go bullish on the company just to flout the crowd except I can’t see any path that looks like clear success. Even the best outcome, where IBM keeps all its market share, still results in a dramatically smaller company (in terms of revenue, workforce and stock price) due to the deflation of cloud computing. IBM’s fundamental problem is it is their traditional customers who are being disrupted by technology wielding upstarts and they are going to have to show customers can actually use IBM technology and “business consulting” to be successful against competitors who don’t have that burden. Good luck with that. IBM’s streak as the worst performer in the Dow Jones two years running may not be over.

To their credit, IBM woke up this year and is no longer downplaying cloud or attributing their woes to simply poor execution of ye olde business model. I am amused that IBM’s leadership has expressed far more public concern about their prospects than the normally curmudgeonly IT industry analysts and pundits who evidently are telling IBM’s customers not to worry about generational transition risk.

Beyond their cloud wanna-be status, it is hard to get enthusiastic about their big initiatives of Watson and becoming an iPad reseller. After what seems like decades of hype, Watson is being devoured by hundreds of much more focused machine and deep learning startups. And it is uncanny how iPad seemed to flatline just as IBM got interested in it (and if you contend IBM’s apps are just what the iPad needs to reestablish growth, I ask only that you name an IBM app, and if you can do that, name one that you’d like to use). Delusion factor: low. The dubious marketing underscores their desperation.

HP (sorry Hewlett Packard Enterprise) trails IBM significantly in terms of existential angst and has a massive internal distraction in splitting themselves up. Helion: they only wish they had another L. While I have been assuming a “better than Autonomy” bar would lead to acquisitions like Box or Rackspace, their efforts to get their hands on VMware suggest there may be some sanity lurking somewhere. Delusion factor: medium.

Cisco is the company with the biggest gap between reality and their own cloud blather. While they are one of the few growing server vendors, their reckoning approacheth on multiple fronts. Delusion factor: highest

Rackspace – my prediction last year was they would not be an independent entity by the end of 2014. They did put themselves up for sale, but had no takers (HP let me down). They have realized they can’t play with the big boys and have retreated to their old hosting turf. OpenStack was a huge distraction for them. But their stock price supposes there is still an acquirer out there. Delusion factor: low. They touched the hot stove, and will not make that mistake again. 

Telcos – CenturyLink (also in Seattle) is executing the best here while the others are too busy chanting “cloud is our birthright” to do much. Delusion factor: medium to high.

OpenStack – another year where the number of press releases probably exceeds the largest number of nodes in production in any instance. They lost ground this year as public cloud continues to outpace private cloud and OpenStack public clouds aren’t very public. A pivot to Docker is coming, even as they perhaps settle to be a telco supplier. Delusion factor: high.

  • Docker – the most interesting aspect of Docker is it works because Linux has won as the operating system of the cloud (and having written those words, a new operating system must surely be upon us imminently). If you don’t need to virtualize multiple operating systems, you can push application isolation up above a single OS. But while Linux has won, Red Hat has lost. They just don’t play any material role in cloud infrastructure. They’re a legacy, on-premise operating system company. Maybe this year the markets will ask why they’re trading at a multiple of over 70.
  • Digital Ocean – while the old school vendors huff and puff, I’ll just note this is increasing where the cool kids run their apps. The problem with taking the “enterprise journey” is it almost always leaves you somewhere developers don’t want to be.
  • Docker – they really mishandled their first competitive blitz, which was actually pretty minimal. But good practice for when VMware finally gets around to announcing vCenter will manage both VMs and containers (and I have no inside knowledge here, it just seems like an obvious thing to do).

Cloud Platform

  • PaaS is still a zero billion dollar market, but there are signs revenue is ramping to the point where we can have a serious discussion about this threshold next year (note I define PaaS narrowly to net new, general purpose application platforms and don’t subscribe to xPaaS speciation/inclusion of decades old code) I still think this is the only layer at which most companies should be doing private cloud.
  • The Cloud Foundry Foundation – not sure if I’m more disappointed that it exists or that it wasn’t called the Foundration.
  • DevOps is a distraction and something you want other people to do on your behalf: if you’re actually doing DevOps, you’re doing it wrong. (That sentence will probably bring me more grief than any other in this post).

Big Data

  • FOMO is the biggest driver of big data in the enterprise. Lots of data is going into the lake, but not much is coming back out yet.
  • Hadoop, or more accurately HDFS, has won based on storage cost advantages and addressing the administrative and governance needs of IT. The programming model can charitably be described as unsettled, which is one of the factors hampering the realization of material value from big data. A big question for 2015 is how quickly Spark matures.
  • The most amusing announcement of the year was Google sucking it up and announcing full support for Hadoop, which they view as an obsolete and decade-old Google technology laundered through Yahoo.
  • The hype around big data will shift to the Internet of Things in 2015. IoT-washing will make cloudwashing look modest, as every data player adds at least those three letters to their home page. Some are doing more and actually building for specific IoT needs. Samsung is the biggest threat to IoT as they feel the urgency to ship half-baked spec sheets devices and crummy software that could set the whole market back significantly.
  • Get ready for data protectionism, as the EU (as a front for European manufacturers) decides they need to control their own data exhaust and not let those evil American technology companies squeeze all the value out of precision metal bending. We could see some very strange big data acquisitions by German manufacturing companies.

What else should we be watching in 2015?

Dinosaur Row

IBM’s cloudy predicament is now widely understood.

BusinessWeek made IBM’s existential crisis a cover story (a concept that doesn’t really exist any more if you read the publication online):

Bloomberg Businessweek (US)

Forbes then called out recently departed IBM CEO Sam Palmasaino for his financial engineering shenanigans with “Why IBM is in Decline”. Cringely went one better with the full Gibbon in his new book “The Decline and Fall of IBM”.

To which I say, welcome to the club!

IBM employees have been crawling out of the woodwork over the last year to defend the holy EPS roadmap (even as Wall Street tells them “um, you might stop the financial engineering games and optimize for survival at this point”). While I have listened patiently, not a single Big Blue booster made an argument based on their product portfolio or confidence in their ability to innovate or adapt. They have a bad case of assuming past performance guarantees future survival.

The most compelling argument I heard from any IBMer was “Well, at least we’re not HP”. HP is in a similar situation as IBM, except a few years behind. On the plus side, HP has less software legacy (there are positives to not being a software company period). I’m waiting for HP to buy Rackspace as their SoftLayer-like “Hail Mary”, except paying more and doing it a couple years later due to the need to rebuild their balance sheet “autonomy”. But a wise man once told me “life is too short to work with HP”, so enough about them. Unlike some other vendors, I don’t think anyone really cares whether HP make the next transition or not.

The storm clouds of creative destruction blow not just in Armonk and Palo Alto. Things also look blustery in San Jose, home of another dinosaur: Cisco (or as I like to call them, “the IBM of networking”).

Cisco has many parallels to IBM:

  • Revenue has plateaued and oscillates between flat and down.
  • Competitive threats abound including fundamental technical and economic disruption.
  • They can’t innovate and have relied on buying R&D for even longer than IBM and to a greater degree.
  • Lots of acquisitions that haven’t had much discernable impact. One can argue IBM has done better with its acquisitions, where they at least milk the installed base for revenue even if the acquired products go immediately into maintenance mode.
  • They have lost the leading edge customers who prefer to build their own switches or rely on other vendors.
  • Their biggest customers may face an existential threat by continuing to rely upon them, facing competitors who don’t have that legacy dependency.
  • Their core competencies have shrunk to browbeating the press (and watch the press pay it back that the dam has finally broken on IBM after years of oppression) and manipulating Wall Street expectations (revenue only down 5.5% – it’s a beat!!!).
  • They are dismissive of the threats they face (a la “it is early days for cloud”) and take their survival and market position for granted.
  • Their product efforts focus on trying to pull innovation back into the old way of doing things (see Cisco’s ACI, which kind of misses the whole SDN point).
  • They believe they can play with the big boys in cloud but on a bonsai budget. Cisco’s Intercloud is another “multi-year, one billion dollar investment” in cloud capex that amounts to about six weeks of Google’s capex spending.

Cisco is flailing all over the place when it comes to communicating their strategy:

  • Competitive bluster and/or schizophrenia: they plan to “crush” VMware who is “enemy number one for Cisco” (but also maintain this SDN thing is not a big deal…). Yet VMware doesn’t even make their slide of competitors today or in 2018, when it seems they plan to compete exclusively with the cream of the late 20th century NASDAQ:

Cisco competitors prediction

  • Misdirection and/or distraction: “Hey, look at this $14 TRILLION dollar market over here. It isn’t just the Internet of Things, it is the Internet of Everything!” I’m a big believer in the Internet of Things (hold the “Every”) but am hard-pressed to understand what Cisco is going to do to capture any disproportionate part of that. Cisco’s IoT executives are so impressed with the opportunity they keep bailing out.
  • Safety in numbers: they would like you to believe their challenges are not unique to Cisco, but plague the whole “industry” (aka Big Old Tech with no appearances from the companies taking share). John Chambers forecasts “brutal” times ahead and provides this handy chart by which to track his self-selected cohort’s misery:

Cisco Chambers Keynote 5 Tech Revenue

Cisco picked the right peers with HP and IBM (aka Dinosaur Row), but Microsoft and Oracle are in a different class as I am sure this time series will prove out over time. We’ll be tracking the “Chambers Chart” going forward.

Strategic Sprawl, We Do It All

HP’s new CEO has unveiled his strategy for the company.  The debut was accompanied by an epic press release.  Some of my favorite parts:

“Connected World” – hopefully Paul Allen won’t call from the 1990s and ask for his strategy back.

“…its vision to provide seamless, secure, context-aware experiences for the connected world” – it probably sounds better in the original German.

“…continue delivering unparalleled value” – that sounds suspiciously like more of the same actually.  So much for the break from the Hurd era.

“…well positioned to win through a compelling combination of financial strength, unmatched scale and global reach, and market-leading positions that span from the consumer to the enterprise” – translation: we’re big and not entirely sure what we do either.

“…convergence” – the 1990s may just want to put HP on speed dial.

“Powerful trends like consumerization, cloud computing and connectivity are redefining the way people live, businesses operate and the world works.” – I’d always use ‘live, work and play’ when composing this sentence.  It rolls off the tongue a little better.

“…massive, agile and open” – massive and agile so often go hand-in-hand.

“…leveraging” – once.

“Meanwhile, the cloud is combining with mobility to create ubiquitous connectivity.” – ’meanwhile’?  Evidently you have to follow multiple plotlines.

“…leverage” – twice.

“…trusted partner” – naturally.

“…continue enhancing HP’s offerings across its broad hardware, software and services portfolio to meet evolving customer demands while also leveraging its core strengths to develop the cloud- and connectivity-based solutions of the future to meet the needs of consumers, small and midsize companies and large enterprises.” – this should really help employees with what NOT to do.

“…trusted leader” – is leader an upgrade from partner?

“…a four-point strategy” – the big decision was whether to have a three or four-point strategy.

“…leveraging” – thrice.

“…core strength in cloud” – you can’t spell Heffalump without the letters H and P.  But ‘cloud’, not so much.

“…trusted partner” – on second thought, partner was better.

“…delivering the connected world” – can I get that delivered to my house overnight?

“…leverage” – not sure what comes after thrice.

“…build a robust developer community that is eager” – you can lead a horse (or insert your own CAML joke) to water, but you can’t make him eager.

“…leveraging” – starting to think this is coded reference to printer cartridge business.

“…unmatched” – true, no other company looks even remotely like HP.

“…a multitude of initiatives” – so more than four then?

“…three strategic areas” – uh, oh, now we’ve lost one. 

“…leverage” – at this point we can just call him Leo Archimedes.

“…higher-value” – higher than what?

“…greater strategic value” – ah, higher in strategery.

“A device-aware HP cloud…” – eServices lives!

“…a leader in the area of connectivity” – look out AT&T?

“The focus on performance will come through a program focusing on growth, operational excellence and quality.” – looking forward to reading the white paper on this. 

“At HP, our mission is to deliver seamless, secure, context-aware experiences for a connected world.” – repeated just in case anyone didn’t memorize it up front.

Here is the word cloud if that helps. 

Can you find 'leverage'?

In HP’s defense, the only thing worse than reading this kind of press releases is writing them.  It is next to impossible to put a coherent and concrete story together that spans all the provinces of vast technology conglomerates, so you’re left with sweeping platitudes.  Been there, done that.

Disclosures: a delighted seller of all my HPQ at $49.

The HP Frenzy

Keep an eye on just how many reporters are getting bylines on stories about the HP corporate espionage debacle.  It isn’t just one or two at each publication.  An incomplete and cursory count reveals 16 different Wall Street Journal reporters with bylined stories.  I don’t think they had that many when they unraveled the Enron fraud. 


The press has “flooded the zone” which is really bad news for Mark Hurd as they seem to want blood.  Is there an ending here where he keeps his job?  He missed an opportunity Friday to raise himself above the fray.  Reporters tend to write the news straight but these new-fangled blog things give you a better sense of what they are thinking and he blew the press conference (here and here).  I don’t think Dunn’s scalp will be enough (David Kirkpatrick at Fortune has the most interesting insight into Dunn’s situation and motivations).


The other guy in the crosshairs is Silicon Valley uberlawyer Larry Sonsini, whose apparant oking of the HP spying comes on top of his firms’s relationship with almost half of the Silicon Valley companies implicated in options backdating. 


It is tough to get meetings with both industry and business press right now because they’re so focused this story.  The reporters who got spied on are getting their just revenge and the ones who weren’t spied upon are even more motivated to show they were in fact worth spying on in the first place.  And we haven’t even had the Congressional hearings yet–need I mention it is an election year?